I won't...

Waste my breath.
On the world at all...

Well save for what's about to happen. tuesday.

Keeping the Curious at Bay.

My real name is actually Hank Moody... my nickname is Destiny Hope Free Patron Cullen. I'm bad like Jesse James. O.k. not reaaaally but I have a lot of nicknames and here we have them : Little Begonia, Destructiny, Little One, Little Sis, Spottie, Miss Dopalicious, Babydoll, Wino, Dusty, Des, Dessie, Dezmo, D Funk, D Money, Diva Britches, Down a** b*tch, Dess Mess, Charles Bukowski, Mexicant, Mexibritt, Lil' Leo, The Lioness, and just plain D.

I was once in a relationship for 3 years and then some and I was completely and utterly faithful so shoot me if I take a number a day and have a 5 dates a week. I just love connecting with people and I've paid my dues so if and when I am ever in a relationship again I will remain faithful.

I've had a lot of faux walk of shames... and some real ones. I am proud to say I am STD free and don't mind proving it.

I once dated the keys/guitarist of my favorite band. His new girlfriend is beautiful. I do hope they are happy. I love their songs so much I listen to them on repeat and find it embarrassing how much they warm my heart.

As much as I'd like to I can't hold grudges... I'd much rather keep the peace.

I used to conduct dinner parties with all the adults in my neighborhood at age 4-6. I also did a rail of a ladybug and paper at age 5 and loved breaking glass. Also, one time the ninja turtles came to my house for Christmas no srsly. Well, only Raphael and Donatello (people in costume my parents hired) but I still think it's pretty badass.

I'm a total lush... I black out 65% of the time. I could have 5 drinks or I could have 17 it just happens. On a good day I'm pinot noir and on a bad one I'm 10 irish carbombs. I wake up in my bed with 5 business cards in my pocket and numbers in my phone such as "Turd Ferguson" and "Dancing Immigrant". One time I woke up in my friends bed wearing her bra and laying in a pile of captain crunch and nilla wafers. But, I get mad when people eat crackers in bed. Jason Schwartzmen and Kiera Knightley can eat crackers in my bed all damn day.

My first album is titled "Square Pegs Round Holes" you may or may not ever hear it. I hope it makes you cry.

I am moving into my new place today in Williamsburg at N7th and Bedford. I am stressed, sad, and excited alike. In my head I refer to the new hood as a giant charcuterie board because there is a lot of new sausage on the board as well as some cheese. I hate hipsters. I will miss my roommates and neighbors. I kind of feel like wearing buffalo plaid, fake prescription glasses, and drink only PBR for a week just to be an a-hole.

I wish I could play the mysterious card and tone it down sometimes but I just can't. I like putting myself out there and being raw and real. Hey, at least I'm not wasting your time and you know what you are going to get. Though, I do have a couple surprises I toss out there every once and awhile.

I used to hate holding hands and hugging. I am quite the opposite these strange days... So if you ever are in want or need I got hugs.

In kindergarden I had three boyfriends. Cameron, Scott and Tyler. They used to fight all the time but Cameron was my obvious favorite all the girls liked him. I think there is some truth when they say "people never change". One time I caught one of them flirting with some other girl so I dug a hole in the sand on the playground shoveled pile of dog poo in there then covered it back up and marked it with an X. Then I told them that there was a buried treasure on the playground and they went to dig it up with their hands and got them covered in poo. That was my first and certainly not my last visit to the principals office :) In 4th grade I almost got suspended for saying "electric turd".

Every day is an adventure for me... People don't believe me when I tell them what I've done and seen and where I've been. I don't either sometimes.

My name is annoying but also has its plus sides "Destiny Hope". See for yourself : "Is that your stripper name?" "Are your parents hippies?" "You are my Destiny" and "Destiny? like Destiny's Child?". Billy Ray Cyrus named his daughter after me but she legally changed it to Miley after they saw my photos on lastnightsparty.com

I think when you die you are just dead. And there is nothing. I am not scared of death but I am scared of dying without leaving behind something both meaningful and lasting. If I am wrong then I definitely have a penthouse suite in hell waiting for me.

Person of The Day.

The lovely Solomon Burke was a Blues/R&B/Soul/Gospel musician...

His best known and personally my favorites as well include "Cry to Me" and "Everybody Needs Somebody to Love".

Stumbled Upon Poetry.

Where bushes periodically burn, children fear other
children: girls

whose scornings are flint on dry rock
which—don't we know—is all the heart afforded
a certain type: untended, magnifying boys.

oh fickle lens! oh smoke and smoldering beetle!
oh thwarted desire in foothills of brush
and now flame.


CAMILLE DUNGY

Forever Curious.

I have always despised that quote "Curiosity kills the cat" and have always been quite curious and yet still breathing.  I dedicate today to the curious and bestow upon you my favorite quotes about curiousity. Do enjoy!

Wickedness is a myth invented by good people to account for the curious attractiveness of others" -Oscar Wilde

"Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers" -Voltaire 

"It is a miracle curiosity survives formal education" -Albert Einstein 

Curiosity is the very basis of education and if you tell me that curiosity killed the cat, I say the cat died nobly" -Arnold Edinborough

"Curiosity is one of the permanent and certain characteristics of a vigorous mind" -Samuel Johnson

"Curosity about life in all aspects, I think, Is still the secret of great creative people" Leo Burnett

"Seize the moment of excited curiosity on any subject to solve your doubts; for if you let is pass, the desire may never return, and you may remain in ignorance" -William Wirt

Hurt to Stir...

New York you are that bitch lover... On a good day you are epic but on a bad day you are simply horrid. You've toughened my exterior and yet raped me of my innocence. My outside is tough as a rock but inside you'll only find mush. Now, I am not certain of the consistency of the mush because it has yet to be determined but Its most definitely soft. For fucks sake I cradle pillows when I sit or sleep now. Left feeling so alone sometimes in a city filled to the brim with people but because they are mostly fair-weather it's hard to get close. But then again its beautiful when two worlds do actually collide.

I mean I can kind of be like the city sometimes so I can't stay cross with it for too long that would make me a hypocrite. Because on a good day I'm definitely a nice glass or three of pinot noir and on a bad day I would be about seven to eight irish car bombs ready to destroy anything in my path. We all have our demons and anyone who says otherwise is living a lie. You can either accept them or push change.

To be continued...

Indian Giver.

the cold ravaged my sleep
and disappointment crept into view

flow of thoughts could not have been timely
as a sure tell silence seemed only fit

you breathe dominance on my neck
but I do not crumble in my state

I found purpose in simple connection
Yet you mock at my gains

And blow smoke in the face of this little kinder 
you once pretended to hold so tender

Short lived and lifeless it was
A sure waste of vibrancy and lace

Abrasive word play was your armor 
But your shield it felt second hand

Hope who was perched on my soul
Had flown away but was quick to return

Because, you see, when she breaks...
She re-fashions the lyrics to "Just Like a Woman"

so my end of the bargain was gingerly met
considering for every action there lives an equal

experience alone at last was a true and beautiful release
providence enough, someone genuine was not far behind 

when I awoke the bed was warmer with no one in it
and a drive home quickly became a reflecting pool 

cordially I concluded that there was no better match
for sniffles the clown, than a wobbly circus waif...

and that I make fucking phenomenal lemonade.

                                                          -me

Uncle Henry.

"You'll come to see that a man learns nothing from winning. The act of losing, however, can elicit great wisdom. Not least of which is, uh… how much more enjoyable it is to win. It's inevitable to lose now and again. The trick is not to make a habit of it."

Winter offers wisdom (and disappointment).

This, my friends, is a flake. And it is the only sort of flake I like... I mean corn flakes are o.k. and well there are the frosted variety. And sometimes I may enjoy an occasional snow flake but I'll take the warmth of the sun any day. Are you reading between the lines yet?

History of the Flake

Parties Passion Pit Falls...

Nothing could have prepared me for the night. Partner in crime and business turning up volume by the rolling of taxi windows. There you were on the table with an apple in your mouth... No, really, there was a fucking dead pig with an apple in it's mouth! Here we were in this industrial barn somewhere between reality and dreams. And then there were moments in time that were damn near nightmareish. The projection of Bob on the wall was trying to tell me I was a big girl now. But, I wasn't having it. I wasn't ready to breathe the verity but I was inhaling alright. The dick book on the frenchies dresser was trying to remind me how you were.
James Dean was there playing with switch blades and doing his best Scarface impression. Betty page was there too she was throwing a fit because they wouldn't let her sing Bobby Mcgee. So I sang it instead... We were dancing children drinking red wine from the bottle while the flashing lights reminded us we were being studied. "You should do music" "You guys will do well" "Thank you may I have some more". And when the shit hit the fan the westerns playing on the wall told me to point and shoot.
So shoot I did though my weapon was my mouth and my ammo it was kisses and song. Three french boys one in evening. Edith Piaf was the lady of the hour she shook me. She consumed me and I sang and I wept. Applause was a true hit or so I had thought. But it didn't move him because he didn't care just as he never has and never will.